‘Slow Down’ and treat dating like interviews

dating-no-no-1067312-flash


According to more than 40,000 Americans, traditional ways of meeting people are in decline: friends, school, church, neighborhood. Despite the online buzz, the benefits of offline dating have not vanished. Singer, songwriter and music producer, Ava (“the Aviator”), is set to Take Flight over turbulent dating. In a world of curvy and cultural revolutions, Ava sets off a dating movement encouraging women to take charge in love and life:

When and how did you become a pilot? Moving to Atlanta, I thought it was going to be like Sex and the City. Like Carrie and her dating scenarios. Six months or so, I started dating this guy. We were cool but my intuition would not let up on me. There was also some red flags. After him, it was the military guy who tried to get in my mind. Crazy first date. Next was the arrogant “rich” guy with the “you should be happy [to be] with me” attitude. Afterwards, I realized I wasn’t specific about what I wanted. So I began to treat dating like interviews.

You mentioned ‘red flags’. What were some signs to let you know something wasn’t right? He had hundreds of female friends and he’d say they were just friends. Then there were modeling shoots. Something just wasn’t right to me. I asked God to deliver answers. Hours later, literally, he confessed that he had given sexual favors to men. When a man and woman are “just friends”, and HE looks like a model, is he more suspect? It wasn’t the number of friends as much as it was the frequency he heard from them. If we’re together, boundaries should’ve been set. “Shoots” weren’t with legit photographers or events. They were covers for something else.

Dating is very much a process, but more and more women are growing weary of it. What’s the disconnect? We have to ask the right questions–we control that. Don’t give too much, too soon. I was happy I didn’t sleep with the first guy, considering his past. It’s more about taking responsibility and not becoming bitter when things don’t go right. My next video, “Inside of Me”, is about freeing yourself of the bad and being receptive to love again.

Like the ‘application denied’ part of “Slow Down”! How do you think women should be direct, but not offensive, with “background checks”? Set standards but in a sophisticated way. It’s a process of elimination but don‘t drill the man. Know how to get answers through casual conversation.

What about the high standards and “settling” debate? Not bashing men, but my music enforces the fact that women have power. In life, I don’t like anyone having power over my destiny. After starting my music production business, I applied and worked at two jobs. They weren’t for me. One lasted a few weeks, then folded, and the other a couple months. Set standards for yourself and men. I’ve been in the business since I was 17. At first it was slow. I still don’t know how I lived off $9,000 the first year. Now it’s forward and upward.

Is Take Flight your first album? My first was when I was nine. Another one when I was 19. My sister was on both albums and Take Flight is my first solo project. Tracks and the album are on my website and iTunes. [VIDEO] “Slow Down” is the anthem that set off the revolution.

“In life, you’re either a passenger or a pilot, it’s your choice.”

Media maven and writer, M3G shares info-tainment on blogs 'MokaExec' (content marketing) and 'Moka Mayhem' (pop culture). When she isn't producing content, she's parenting, working out, watching movies, or shopping around. @MokaExec on Twitter.